Your humble Blog Goliard welcomes the recent debate over the issue of birthright citizenship, especially if it winds up opening the issue of wrong-turns we have taken in interpreting the Fourteenth Amendment more generally.

Reforming birthright citizenship would, however, merely address a symptom of the overall immigration problem—as, for that matter, would a tightening of border security. To attack the root of the problem would require addressing the welfare state on one hand, and the question of national identity and cohesion on the other.

Given the current state of affairs and the contours of the debate, I am very much in the restrictionist camp; I believe it is my only choice. But I could learn to stop worrying and love open borders, if I could be assured of five things:

• No alien will be granted admittance to, or allowed to remain in, the United States if they have a criminal record in any country that contains anything more serious than a speeding ticket. (Exceptions made for political prisoners and similarly persecuted persons, provided they can demonstrate they are fundamentally peaceful and law-abiding.)


• Everyone who comes here must hold down a job or operate a viable business.


• Non-citizens are forbidden from receiving any sort of public assistance whatsoever. (Exceptions made for medical care in a bona-fide extreme emergency, and for one-way transportation back to one’s native country.)


• Naturalization will not become, in any significant way, any faster or easier to attain than it is now.


• Anyone intending on long-term residence must learn English and plan on their children speaking English as at least a co-native tongue. They must also learn America’s history and heroes and guiding principles—and if they aspire to be citizens, learn to revere them above all the symbols and totems and mores of the old country.

A fellow can dream, can’t he?